locked out.

saturday i was locked out of my apartment, for ten whole minutes! surprisingly, this is not the first time this has happened to me. i know! crazy right? actually i've found myself locked out of my house, apartment, room, car, bathroom, and locker...come to think of it...i've also been locked out of a library, the hotel i worked at, a staircase, and i'm sure the list could go on. it is not like i'm an irresponsible person or anything like that. each situation was completely different. saturday, i misplaced my key and ten minutes later my roommate came home and let me in the apartment :]      a few weeks ago, i got home late on a friday night/saturday morning and discovered my room has a lock on it that i didn't know about. after attempting the vast number of lock-picking techniques that can be found on youtube, i called a locksmith because well...lets just say that my door has a state-of-the-art anti-pick lock on it and i didn't want to sleep on the couch or in the bathtub. 2 hours and 55 dollars, after getting home i was finally able to climb into my cozy bed.

i've forgot the keys and/or my combination, i've been too early or too late, i've accidentally walked out locked doors without means to get back in, you get the picture. the point is each time no matter how different the situation was i felt the same thing, maybe you have too,  first denial:  it can't be locked, i'll try it again. usually followed by a form of guilt:  of course, i should have remembered... then i might get a tad bit upset: really!?! why is this happening to me? and at this point i might even try to conjure up super human strength and break the lock, but usually it just looks like me shaking/pulling on the lock with an upset "why me?" look on my face. after the struggle, depression and loneliness set in i know i'm locked out and there seems to be no hope, i am doomed to be a homeless person who can't open a lock (this is not my proudest or most logical moment). yet somehow i realize that there is hope: i remember that somewhere there is someone who can help me. i pray to know how to help myself, or who i can ask that can to help me. after a test of my patience, i am rescued. 

who likes being locked out? i sure don't enjoy the freaking out part, or the sense of helplessness. yet, there is that jolt of adrenaline that screams: you are alive, you have things worth living for. Being locked out makes me remember all the wonderful people i have in my life, people who are always wiling to help me. i have a few seconds to be grateful for the places and things that i take for granted, especially having a home and a car. i'm reminded why i wanted in in the first place. being locked out humbles a person and well from time to time i need the humbling. 

2. being locked out reminds us of all the reasons we wanted in.